Tamar is the daughter of Absalom. She is most beautiful. That’s all we know about her. She’s likely named after her aunt Tamar, her father’s sister who was raped by her uncle Amnon and taken in by her dad, where she lived the rest of her life in desolation.
By sharing her aunt’s name, Absalom’s daughter Tamar is linked forever to the tragedy that befell her aunt. Like Tamar, our name may be in memory of someone else, which may or may not have positive implications.
However, our name, what it means, or who it’s connected to, need not dictate our future. We can shed any implications and pursue our own path.
How can we live our own life, regardless of the labels people give us?
Learn about other biblical women in Women of the Bible, available in audiobook, e-book, paperback, and hardcover.
A lifelong student of the Bible, Peter DeHaan, PhD, wrote the 1,000-page website ABibleADay.com to encourage people to explore the Bible. His main blog and many books urge Christians to push past the status quo and reconsider how they practice their faith in every area of their lives.
The story of Tamar is a tragic one. The beautiful daughter of King David catches the eye of her half brother, Amnon, who lusts for her. At the advice of his cousin, Amnon feigns illness and manipulates Tamar into his bedroom, duping David into innocently arranging the whole thing.
Once alone, Amnon grabs and solicits Tamar. Three times she refuses. When her pleading isn’t enough to stop him, she talks about the implications: her disgrace and him appearing as foolish and wicked.
In desperation, she even suggests they ask Dad for permission to marry. But Amnon refuses to listen. Lust drives him. He loses control and rapes her.
After this, his supposed love for her turns to an even more intense hate. When he commands her to leave, Tamar refuses, saying that kicking her out would be an even greater insult. Amnon has her forcibly removed from his presence.
Tamar, a victim of rape, goes to live in desolation with her brother Absalom.
Is there something we can do to help the victims in our world? Caring for even one person will make a difference.
Learn about other biblical women in Women of the Bible, available in audiobook, e-book, paperback, and hardcover.
A lifelong student of the Bible, Peter DeHaan, PhD, wrote the 1,000-page website ABibleADay.com to encourage people to explore the Bible. His main blog and many books urge Christians to push past the status quo and reconsider how they practice their faith in every area of their lives.
Tamar’s a victim who takes extreme action to vindicate herself. She’s the daughter-in-law of Judah, suffers at his hand, responds with guile, and has twins with him. Talk about a messed-up situation. But she’s also one of four women mentioned in Jesus’s family tree. Here’s her story:
Tamar marries Judah’s oldest son. He’s evil, and God kills him. As is the custom of the day, she’s passed on to his brother, her brother-in-law, so she can have kids through him.
In this way he will produce children in his dead brother’s place and perpetuate his brother’s line as a surrogate husband. But the brother doesn’t cooperate and with selfish intent refuses to impregnate her.
This displeases God, and he kills the second brother too. As customary, Judah promises Tamar his third son when he’s old enough and sends her back to her parents to wait. But Judah has no intention of following through, for he fears this son may die too.
Once Tamar realizes Judah will not do as he promised, she disguises herself as a prostitute. She waits where she knows Judah will pass. Not realizing who she is, he solicits her, leaving his seal and its cord, along with his staff as his pledge of payment. Tamar gets pregnant.
When Judah sends a friend to pay the prostitute and reclaim his pledge, the friend can’t find her and no one in the area knows of a prostitute working there. Judah doesn’t pursue the matter further.
Three months later Judah learns his daughter-in-law is expecting a child conceived out of wedlock, from an act of prostitution. With self-righteous indignation, he condemns her to die.
Then she reveals he’s the father and offers proof, by showing his seal, cord, and staff. Judah confesses his role, and he declares Tamar as more righteous than he.
Tamar has twins: Perez and Zerah. Judah, Tamar, and Perez are all ancestors of Jesus, and Matthew lists her in the genealogy of Jesus, one of only four women so honored.
Judah does Tamar wrong, first for promising his third son to her and not following through, then for using her as a prostitute, and last for condemning her to die.
Yet Tamar also does wrong, posing as a harlot and soliciting her father-in-law to trap him. Nevertheless, Tamar’s drastic steps ensure she has a family to care for her when she gets old. And God ensures she has a legacy.
Do two wrongs make a right? When we are wronged, may we have the wisdom to know the right answer.
Learn about other biblical women in Women of the Bible, available in audiobook, e-book, paperback, and hardcover.
A lifelong student of the Bible, Peter DeHaan, PhD, wrote the 1,000-page website ABibleADay.com to encourage people to explore the Bible. His main blog and many books urge Christians to push past the status quo and reconsider how they practice their faith in every area of their lives.
